How to Make New Friends and Influence People...By Lady Grey Darjeeling, the First

Humans would like to tell you that the laws of physics cannot be broken. I'd like to prove to you that they are made to be broken. Whenever my human takes me for a walk, I drag my paws and flop on the ground all the way to the street corner. Yelping and whining like the town crier on the day of the Apocalypse is also helpful. Then when my human turns and asks if I want to go home, I bound away in a furry bundle of paws and ears. In mere seconds we are in the driveway and I think she is also amazed at my ability to alter time and distance. I feel that I am also performing a valuable therapeutic service that she and her GP will thank me for in her later years.
If you really want to impress the neighbors or your humans have company, try this simple yet effective exercise and win yourself new friends and admirers. You may want to practise in the backyard or basement until you get it just right. First, sit on the grass until you can comfortably take your tail between your teeth. Next, roll gently to the side until you have completed one entire revolution. Be sure there is no furniture or other solid object in your direct path. Stagger, flop your ears and repeat as desired for intended effect. Hilarious shrieks of laughter usually follow.
Another favorite way to really make the most of the doggy days of summer is to have some fun with bath day. It takes some agility to leap out from a utility tub of bubbles and water and  beware the slippery landing. Be prepared for a long and interesting chase through the laundry room and be sure and whimper to be let out immediately. Find a mud puddle, roll ,run like the dickens and repeat the whole jolly treat until you feel sure your human has had a complete cardiovascular workout. They eat ice cream by the bucketful when we're our watchful backs are turned so feel no doggy guilt.
Finally, for all the Blue Jays fans, here's a skill I've spent a little time perfecting and I think you'll agree it could make the difference between winning and losing. Confidence is key in the successful execution of this move and I may have to YouTube a tutorial if my busy nap schedule allows. When sliding into home plate and the bases are loaded, shift all your puppy weight onto one haunch and fling the opposite paw into the air while giving your hindquarters a quick victory swipe with your tongue. I can see this move causing a few fumbles if the fielders react anything like my human.
Summer is a short season filled with lots of chances to show off your skills and train your humans into good physical condition. So get out there and make me proud. You too can make new friends and alter the laws of nature. Just don't do it on the living room rug. Ciao. Bow out.